believe that a "martyr" (shaheed) who
dies in the holy war (jihad) against the infidels
goes to paradise where he is given 72 beautiful
virgins for wives plus a number of never aging boys
for slaves (apparently, pedophilia is allowed in
paradise as well as slavery and polygamy). In an
interesting twist, if a woman dies as a martyr,
she is rewarded with only one husband since women
are supposed to stay monogamous even in heaven --
according to the same fundamentalist doctrine...
PORNO FLICK - PART 2
AHMED: (reading a book) If the Prophet approved of porn like you say,
how come I don't see it in the Koran?
MOHAMMED: Don't be silly, Ahmed! Read that part about living in paradise
with 72 virgins and young slave boys?
MOHAMMED: Infidels will love that flick. They'll think it's porn while
in fact it will be our subtle promotion of Islam.
AHMED: Suppose you find 72 shameless girls to unveil their skin. But
where will you find the money to pay them?
MOHAMMED: You're right. We'll cut down on the virgins and focus on
the slave boys.
AHMED: Allah have mercy! I'm not going to be your slave boy, Mohammed!
MOHAMMED: (solemnly) Just what kind of jihadist are you, Ahmed? I
thought you loved martyrdom!
AHMED: I'm just not sure that when the Prophet said 'jihad' he meant
MOHAMMED: Oh yes, he did!
MOHAMMED: To a layperson it may look like butt rape -- but to jihadists
like us it's proselytizing.
AHMED: Don't you have to think about the storyline first?
AHMED: Conflict! Characters facing obstacles! That's what holds the
viewer's attention! The dumbest Hollywood movies have that.
AHMED: A good storyline might get us to Hollywood! A full-length movie!
Parties in Malibu! Barbara Streisand in a hot tub! Forget slave boys!
MOHAMMED: Fine, you write that storyline. But if it doesn't get us
to Hollywood - then it's butt rape. I hope we're clear about this.
AHMED: What if your slave boy flick brings no money either?
MOHAMMED: Then we'll use it as a recruiting video for would-be suicide
bombers. Win-win deal all the way around.