The persons & events
in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to
actual persons or events is unintentional.
Frame 1. AHMED and MOHAMMED in the desert, tired.
AHMED: I'm so thirsty, I could drink curdled pickle from the fetid
cesspool we had in the training camp. Remember the cesspool, Mohammed?
MOHAMMED: Yeah, I remember. But I'd rather drink water.
AHMED: Clearly, you've never heard of poetic hyperbole. What's your
preference in art anyway?
MOHAMMED: Remember that artist we stoned in Kabul? He was really good.
AHMED: I think realistic representation of objects is against Allah's
will. But then again, the Koran is open to interpretations. Look,
isn't that a lemonade stand ahead?
MOHAMMED: That's a mirage, you dummy.
AHMED: Well, can I still get a drink?
MOHAMMED: You get a drink from a mirage, you'll turn into a Jew, Ahmed.
Frame 5. They pass a dune.
AHMED: You're right. It does look like a Jew. I think he's also selling
MOHAMMED: What did you expect? Mirages are being projected from Israel!
The Jews are using Western technology to make us Muslims delusional
and paranoid. Statistically, mirages mostly happen in the lands of
the Prophet. Just think about it.
Frame 6. A lemonade stand.
AHMED: That's a very realistic illusion, Mohammed. Wish it were real,
though. Because now I'm really thirsty!
JEWISH PEDDLER: Well, Sara did tell me that selling ice cream in a
desert was a bad idea.
MOHAMMED: What do you know? A talking mirage!
F rame 8.
AHMED: I'm so thirsty, I could drink a bowl of rancid aged urine from
a scabby old camel.
MOHAMMED: Remember that poet we stoned in Kandahar? His lines were
definitely better than yours.