• click on the images to enlarge • OSAMA'S NEW TAPE
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The persons & events in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons or events is unintentional.



OSAMA'S NEW TAPE
Virgin Records store in New York
Ahmed at the counter, holding a copy of New York Post:
Frame 1.
AHMED: I'm looking for Osama bin Laden's latest recording. What section might that be?
CLERK: A new recording? Not a remix, not greatest hits? You sure?
Frame 2.
AHMED: (pointing at New York Post) That's what it says - featuring a brand new fatwa, praises of the latest bombings, and never heard before quotes from the Koran.
Frame 3.
CLERK: dude… It's probably old material -- digitally manipulated, using previously recorded vocals -- you know how they do it now… His son, fellow band members, Jeff Lynne on the keyboards… Because, honestly, the last time I heard, Osama was dead in a cave!
Frame 4.
AHMED: (pointing at New York Post) The FBI confirmed it's authentic. Osama says 'Bush is like the Pharaoh' - and he never said that before. So it's new. They aired it on NPR all day long. You didn't hear it?
Frame 5.
CLERK: Is that the title track -- 'Bush is like the Pharaoh' ? Let me check… What do you know? it's coming out right before Christmas, bundled with 'Favorite Carols' CD and a dreidel. You want to preorder? That would be 80 bucks. Cash only -- and no receipt.
Frame 6.
AHMED: Allah bless the free market economy! Wait … How will I know you're not kidding me?
CLERK: Me -- kidding? I thought you'd never guess!
Frame 7.
CLERK: I can't believe you actually thought you could buy Osama's tape on Christmas sale in New York !
AHMED: Your infidel sarcasm always gets me fooled!
Frame 8.
AHMED: (outside) I wish Americans would find a way to fight Osama without curtailing my civil liberties. Why do I have to suffer if I'm not even a terrorist?
Frame 9.
AHMED: No, wait -- I am a terrorist …
Frame 10.
AHMED: (walking away) This country hasn't been the same ever since Osama sent me here…
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