• click on the images to enlarge • A TRIP TO THE BRONX ZOO
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The persons & events in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons or events is unintentional.
A TRIP TO THE BRONX ZOO
Frame 1.
A&M, with large backpacks, dynamite sticks showing, in the aisle between the cages.
MOHAMMED: What a smell! The diversity of species has been growing ever since the infidels invented the evolution. We're in the heart of the evil laboratory of the Western mind.
AHMED: I thought it was a melting pot…
Frame 2.
MOHAMMED: Remember that doctor we stoned in Kabul? He claimed that man had descended from animals. What a scam! How can we possibly be related?
AHMED: Well... Remember how goats always followed me around in Tora Bora?
Frame 3.
MOHAMMED: The goats followed you because you never bathed. I say, if these beasts can do camel's work they're redundant. If they can't they're useless. Besides, they smell.
Frame 4.
At the warthog's cage.
AHMED: You see, Mohammed, the anal glands of many mammals secrete special substances called pheromones, which signal reproductive readiness by scent to members of the opposite sex.
Frame 5.
At the warthog's cage.
AHMED: Aw, look! She's sniffing my jubi-jubi. Are you sure Allah wants us to blow her up?
MOHAMMED: That smell is coming from you, Ahmed! Don't you know the Koran instructs us to wash up every forty days?
Frame 6.
AHMED: You're not listening! That doctor in Kabul - he told me I had a rare case of animal magnetism caused by this anal gland that produced odors... That's the most ancient form of animal communication.
MOHAMMED: He made that up to get up your ass -- that's why we stoned him. We are not animals, end of story.
Frame 7.
at the giraffe cage. (Zoomed out).
MOHAMMED: Are you seriously suggesting that your smell arouses animals?
AHMED: Works like a magnet. Look at those legs. I think she likes me.
Frame 8.
The giraffe lowers his head to Ahmed's backpack and pulls out a garland of dynamite sticks tied together.
AHMED: I told you my pheromones were irresistible!
Frame 9.
Monkey grabs Ahmed from behind.
MOHAMMED: Anal gland, eh? What kind of jihadist are you anyway?
AHMED: He started it!
Frame 10.
Monkey throws a piece of turd at Ahmed.
MOHAMMED: You should've joined al PETA, my friend, not al Qaeda!
AHMED: We better run before the elephant smells me.
Frame 11.
A&M are running, distressed. EXIT sign behind them.
AHMED: To stop the evolution by blowing up the zoo??? What were we thinking!
MOHAMMED: I want to see that anal gland when we get home!



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