Sesame is our cave computer. It's very old. It was stolen by Russian spies in the 1950s from a secret American laboratory and delivered to Moscow hidden inside the Soviet ambassador's wife's silicon implants. When the Soviets invaded Afghanistan they donated Sesame to the Afghan Academy of Sciences where it stood until the Taliban takeover some twenty years later, when all the scientists were shot and the building converted to the Ministry of High Moral Standards.

Mullah Omar though it would be a neat idea to use Sesame's vacuum tubes for target practice. As he went to the basement to get a screwdriver he found Osama stuffing his pockets with Petri dishes that once belonged to the Academy. As always, Osama tricked the gullish Mullah Omar into playing paper-stone-and-scissors and before he knew it Omar had lost both Sesame and half of Afghanistan to clever Osama.

Osama brought Sesame to Tora Bora hoping he could attack Microsoft with it. But the bootleg version of Windows 98 failed to install, so he gave up and switched to playing with Petri dishes and gassing dogs while imagining they were infidels.

Even though Sesame occupies most of our cave, its hard disk is so small it can only hold one email message at a time. So we print out all of our fan mail on the new dot-matrix printer that Mullah Abdullah has smuggled across the border from Pakistan. We hang the printouts on the walls of our cave for all to see, but sadly most of our terrorist brethren can't read (including our teacher Mullah Abdullah).

Therefore, while you can still send us fan mail, we also encourage you to post your messages on this forum, so that some of our more literate brethren in foreign sleeper cells can read them.