is our cave computer.
It's very old. It was stolen by Russian spies in the
1950s from a secret American laboratory and delivered
to Moscow hidden inside the Soviet ambassador's wife's
silicon implants. When the Soviets invaded Afghanistan
they donated Sesame to the Afghan Academy of Sciences
where it stood until the Taliban takeover some twenty
years later, when all the scientists were shot and the
building converted to the Ministry of High Moral Standards.
Omar though it would be a neat idea to use Sesame's
vacuum tubes for target practice. As he went to the
basement to get a screwdriver he found Osama stuffing
his pockets with Petri dishes that once belonged to
the Academy. As always, Osama tricked the gullish Mullah
Omar into playing paper-stone-and-scissors and before
he knew it Omar had lost both Sesame and half of Afghanistan
to clever Osama.
brought Sesame to Tora Bora hoping he could attack Microsoft
with it. But the bootleg version of Windows 98 failed
to install, so he gave up and switched to playing with
Petri dishes and gassing dogs while imagining they were
though Sesame occupies most of our cave, its hard disk
is so small it can only hold one email message at a
time. So we print out all of our fan mail on the new
dot-matrix printer that Mullah Abdullah has smuggled
across the border from Pakistan. We hang the printouts
on the walls of our cave for all to see, but sadly most
of our terrorist brethren can't read (including our
teacher Mullah Abdullah).
while you can still send us fan mail, we also encourage
you to post your messages on this forum, so that some
of our more literate brethren in foreign sleeper cells
can read them.