| THE 72 VIRGINS MINI-SERIES
5 - THE FORMULA
PORNO FLICK - 5 - Ahmed & Mohammed's Hideout
Producer's office. A name plate "Dick Glitter" on the
desk. The producer is a fat decadent guy, feet on the table, nude
pinups on the walls. Reads Ahmed's script.
Frame 1.
'72 VIRGINS'? Wow! This'll make awesome porn! You sure Mecca won't
sue us for copyright infringement?
Frame 2.
PRODUCER: "Uhmm… A relationship between one man and 72
women is what, "menage-a-soixante-trois" ? Unless he's
just watching -- then it would be something like "voyeur a
menage-a-soixante-deux."
Frame 3.
Now let's see… Mohammed has asked for 72 male virgins and
sits around waiting for them.
Rashid isn't gay, but due to a mix-up in the office, he gets Mohammed's
72 male virgins.
Habib's virgins want to blow him so he shoots them with AK-47…
Frame 4.
Little Mustafa hasn't reached puberty yet so he's being used as
one of the virgins until he comes of age. Ali
is into animals so he gets Noah's ark to play with…
Frame 5.
Honestly, guys… What do you think this is, National Endowment
for the Arts? Dick Glitter makes hard core porn! Go to Disney Studios
or something! This script is an insult to my professional dignity!
Frame 6.
AHMED: Could we perhaps discuss the plot problems together?
PRODUCER: Sure. Less plot, more skin - that's the formula to a successful
movie. Now if you excuse me I have some porn to shoot.
Frame 7.
PRODUCER: When I said 'excuse me' I meant I wanted you out of my
office -- now!
MOHAMMED: You were right -- it's a cultural thing. Let's just go
home and do the slave boy flick.
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