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November 12th, 2002, Love Field, Marin County - just north
of San Francisco, California. The "Baring Witness" movement organized
by 72-year-old artist Donna Sheehan first demonstrates their new idea's moving
power.
Marin County, January 2003.
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SELF-TEST:
(the answers will differ
based on personal background. This test will help you take a deeper look into
your soul and hopefully to understand who you really are)
WHAT DO YOU SEE IN THESE PICTURES?
A: Creative calligraphy
B: Pacific harbor seals' breeding ground
C: A promise of peace in our time
D: Naked women freezing their butts off
WHAT THE ANSWERS REVEAL ABOUT YOU:
| IF YOU ANSWERED "A" |
you are Donna Sheehan |
| IF YOU ANSWERED "B" |
you must make a donation of stock, jewelry, artwork, real
estate, and other forms of property to PETA. Or seek professional help -- whichever
fits your budget. |
| IF YOU ANSWERED "C" |
you've seen a higher transcedental truth. You can leave this
page now, your journey is complete. |
| IF YOU ANSWERED "D" |
you are an ignorant despicable aggressive patriarchal male
chauvinist pig. Scroll down for more proof. |
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February 1, 2003, Cape Town, South Africa.
South African leaders strongly encourage peaceful protests.
Hey, who can blame them?
January 2003, Sussex, UK. This group
of cheeky young Londonites decided to pass up on the
Sunday lunchtime gathering at O'Neils and headed to
Ashdown Forest for their very own saucy protest in the
freezing weather.
January 26, 2003, Champaign-Urbana, Illinois.
It's never too cold for a nude antiwar romp. You might think handing out business cards would be sufficient, but you would be wrong.
Gainesville, Florida. Men quickly
followed suit and turned their cheeks to the Florida
sun, celebrating their disarming differences with aggressive
patriarchal male chauvinists.
February 8, 2003, Central Park, New York.
Organized by Wendy Tremayne, an unemployed Manhattan
artist, this group demonstrated their bare-naked distaste
for President Bush's plans to strip Saddam Hussein of
his deadly arsenal.
BARELY LEGIBLE: two nudes shy of spelling
"B."
If you aren't distracted by the, um, details, you
may be able to flesh out "NO BUSH." - AP
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Feeling lonely? Find a soulmate
online! |
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Quotes from celebrities
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OSAMA
BIN LADEN:
Bush, bush, bush... More bush... I see another bush...
And another one... That's quite a bush right there
too. Oh my! Salam aleikum, baby! My name's Osama,
what's yours? Honestly, I always hated Bush, but
now I think I'm about to change my mind. Allah the
merciful! It feels so wrong, but it feels so right!
Peace, baby, yeah! |
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SHEIK
OMAR ABDEL RAHMAN:
I never knew peace movement could be so exciting!
This is just like the preview of the 72 virgins
awaiting me in paradise. Beats Victoria's Secret
any day. The dark-eyed maidens, not violated by
man nor jinn, and each time you sleep with them
you will find them virgin. Go away, I'd like to
be alone now! |
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ABDUL (THE TURBAN) SAYID:
I know
that trick! Bate-and-switch! You think it's 72
virgins, but what you get is one 72-year-old virgin,
what's her name, Donna Sheehan? They lured me
to a turban sale that way. This piece of crap
on my head - bait-and-switch! A defective model
that falls apart every time a bird shits on it!
You can't fool me twice with one trick. No sir! |
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SADDAM
HUSSEIN:
All these pictures are fakes! My son
makes "satellite" images of naked women
with Photoshop every day. What does that prove?
Even if they were real, where's the smoking gun?
Similar earlier photos were checked by U.N. teams
who found allegations of suspicious activities
to be unfounded. |
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KHATAMI:
What do
I think? Come on. No, I mean really... This is
embarrassing. Well, awright, I liked that picture
with Florida men better. I don't know why, there's
something in the air... Aw, see what you made
me do? Now people will think I'm weird. I'm not.
But those muscular men keep haunting me even when
I'm in bed. Especially when I'm in bed. Uhm...
Maybe I should stop using it as a wallpaper on
my desktop... |
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MULLAH DUBYAH:
Tell you
what, folks. Why don't they just send that 72-year-old
artist Donna Sheehan over to Iraq to set up a
naked protest? That might be a threat that would
cause Saddam to run screaming into the wilderness,
never to be seen again. |
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| MIXED
REACTION IN THE MIDDLE EAST |
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Assmobile
"This here idea of alternative ass cheeks got me thinking
and so I invented this alternative source of car fuel! Hop in and let's burn rubber!
Yeah, baby!"
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Salam
aleikum, honey!
"Another half a mile and over that hill! You'll see them
with your own eyes!"
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"And what do those letters say in English?"
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"Where do I sign up?"
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Some peace activists
are encouraged by the idea.
"Listen up, ladies. You are now going to take off your
clothes and spell the words "FREE LOVE" with your naked bodies right
on this square, while the infidel gentleman here takes the pictures. Any questions?
I didn't think so."
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Others
prefer old and tried methods of achieving peace.
"I'll show you Baring Witness! Go back to the cave, now!"
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"I can spell the word 'Peace' with bullet holes in several
languages. Do they even care? No-o-o-o! But when some sluts take their covers
off, they get all the attention in the world! Men are such pigs!"
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This Saudi branch of "Baring Witness" movement were
last heard from while preparing to spell ISLAM IS PEACE with their naked bodies.
Why the silence, sisters? Email us! We need more success stories from your part
of the world!
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A Changed Man
"I was going to blow up a bunch of folks in the name of
jihad, but these protesters made me change my mind. Now I'm going to blow a bunch
of folks in the name of peace."
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Confusion...
"It also spells "Bush" you say? Isn't that,
uhm, redundant? Oh, it spells "No Bush"? Uhm... Isn't that an oxymoron?
Uhm... Considering that thing they spell it with, I mean..."
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Anxiety
"That is so sad. Why didn't women do such things when
I was younger and full of mojo, like in the 1960s? They did? You sure? Why wasn't
I informed? I might be a fighter for peace then! Instead, I wasted that whole
decade on memorizing bomb components... You ever get this feeling as if you missed
a turn once and now your whole life is going in the wrong direction, and when
you figure it out it's so awfully late? That's how I feel right now."
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Joy
spills into the streets
"All we are saying, is give peace a chance!"
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PEACE
ACTIVISTS
IN THE WEST CHEER UP |
Our
palms just got hairier!
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High
school students join together to share mastur-bation's
positive energy with a world in need. |
Spread your flower's
power!
Woody, active member in the Masturbate for
Peace movement:
"The Baring Witness event was a shot in the arm,
so to speak, to all of our members. Up until now we
had been practicing our beliefs in isolation from mainstream
peace movements. Now we ARE mainstream. We
don't feel alone in our shower stalls anymore as we
focus your thoughts and energy towards love and peace!!
For more info on the international Masturbate
for Peace movement see their web site http://www.masturbateforpeace.com
Find over 10,000 petitions as well as poetry, bumper stickers, and pictures that
will bring you hours of highly entertaining struggle for world peace.
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